To embark on a journey or not to is the question. A question that lingers over and over and over, as if my mind was set to repeat. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. I'm not the type to jump up and down, the one to run around and be all hyped up about it. I'm calm and just soaking up the memoirs I'm building at the moment and appreciating the great people who have walked into my life.
For most people it's probably not difficult to leave the nest. There probably is no emotional attachment, or the desire to explore exceeds beyond wanting to be normal, which leads them to taking that first step to self-discovery. I guess the difficulty of leaving is because of all the strong relationships that I have established here. Given that I was away from home when studying abroad in Taiwan, I knew I was going to come back to good ol' Colorado. That's where my friends were and where my parents have established our family's home. Being the odd one out of my best friends, I ended up going to Boulder while they went to CU Denver, but I knew I would return home sooner or later. This time around I'm not quite sure if I would be moving back here permanently.
Although Colorado has it's beautiful summers and chilly winters, it's just too small for a girl like me. I want to be surrounded by unique individuals who I can gain inspiration from. Most importantly I want to live. Breathe. The bigger the city, the more you can do. The innumerable options. Doing things without any constraints. As a young adult, I have room to make mistakes. If worst comes to worst, I will be moving back home with my family, which doesn't seem bad at all other than the fact that I would possibly be settling and accepting that my life will be forever here in Colorado.
These past few days, I've discovered that life is not well-worth enjoying without any risks. A life that has a steady plateau is dull and boring. For the longest time I've felt like I was trapped and dying internally because I had the luxury to have a family to take care of me. Nothing's wrong with a little bit of help, but a goal-oriented individual like myself who wants to be the bold, independent woman who has the ability to survive on her own. Unlike most people, I just can't settle. I wan't to strive. Be the best. Climb my way to the top. See what I'm potentially made of. Having a family who will "baby" me only makes me weak and vulnerable. I need to hurt, make mistakes, face consequences to push me. Push my buttons so that I can prepare for anything that comes my way. I can't do that when I'm here, everything is too safe and I feel weak because of it.
It's these last days where I've started to cherish more of my time here in Colorado, with the people I love. This decision is ultimately for me but my goals have an element that will motivate me to do even better: to one day, be able to give back to the important people in my life, those who are impacting my daily decisions and the ones who believe in me.
A picture is worth a 1000 words and the picture below explains where my passion lies: Fashion.
Model: Katie Etcheverry Designer: Lina Chen Photographer: Angela Chung
I guess this is my farewell. So long Colorado...